Downtown benefit concert not as successful as "Hope for Haiti" telethon

 

A Benefit for Haiti concert held downtown in Kent, Ohio, deemed "not as successful" as the "Hope for Haiti" telethon.

Kent local Donald Douglass set up Wednesday the 27th in downtown Kent, near the Pufferbelly Restaraunt, complete with his rockband set and a home-crafted "help Haiti" sign, to show his support and belt out his rendetion of David Bowie's "Suffragette City".

"I was watching tv last Friday, when all of a sudden some stupid fucking telethon came on, interrupting all of my regular programs" claimed Douglass.  "I was fucking pissed!  So after making sure I wasn't on PBS, I realized that this crap was on like every channel.  Too lazy to put in a dvd or something, I decided to watch it.  What the hell, I sure wasn't gonna be able to watch "Supernanny" as usual."

The telethon inspired Douglass to support the cause himself.  "I have no idea who this Haiti dude is, but he must be pretty damn special if all these yahoos are on television supporting him.  So I figured, why not lend a hand?  Plus, it gives me a chance to show-up all those hollywood douches."

The 20-minute concert failed to draw the crowd that Douglass had anticipated, so he eventually packed up his drum set and cardboard sign, and headed home.  "I got hungry", claimed Douglass.