DALLAS, TX- Wade Phillips has been released from the Dallas Cowboys, after an embarrasingly drunken display during Sunday nights game against the Green Bay Packers.
"He kept swaying around, and saying 'Hey! Let me tell you something!'" remarked Cowboys WR Miles Austin, during a press conference held Monday at Cowboys stadium. "I think he forgot my name, too. He kept referring to me as 'Miles Davis', and repeatedly asked me to get him another beer. I was trying to concentrate on the game."
"Wade kept singing that Garth Brooks song 'Two Pina Coloda's'", stated Cowboy's offensive lineman Marc Colombo. "I asked him about a formation we were going to try in the third quarter, and who I should block, and instead of giving me direction, he just yelled 'Set sail with Captain Morgan, and never leave dry land!'. I decided to just go out on the field and see what happened at that point, he was pretty far removed from the game."
"I did hire him because he's a good ole boy," claimed team owner Jerry Jones. "That sonofabitch can outdrink any bastard in this organization. That's damn impressive. However, it kind of hurts our team when our coach is shit-faced during a nationally televised Sunday night game. In fact, I think it hurts a lot. He threw up on one of the refs in the second quarter, and it was then that I realized we had a problem."
