"That jerk ruined my kid's birthday party", claimed parent Karen Smith of Kent, Ohio. "Our original clown cancelled at the last moment, so I had to quickly select a new one. This clown named 'Pennywise' I found on Yahoo local was the only guy who coud fill in for me. I probably should have checked his references."
Pennywise's antics included sreaming "WE ALL FLOAT!" repeatedly in the birthday boy's face, smashing the cake with his lizard-like talon of a hand, and then murdering and eating all of the children.
"I guess it could have been worse," noted Smith. "Last year we went to Chuck E. Cheese, and that guy in the rat costume really smelled heavily of booze. Oh, and their pizza was under-cooked."
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